Yesterday I wrote a blog post in Swedish (of course) about being pregnant and giving birth in the States. I only have good things to say about that experience since I think it was nothing but great. Great doctors, great hospital (Fairfax Hospital for Women) and a great experience overall despite pre-term labor, pre-eclampsia and an emergency C-section
My blog post yesterday generated lots of comments---Thanks to ALL of you guys who were commenting! And it also steered the discussion into how many kids we chose to have, a very personal choice and decision indeed.
Since I have only one child, by choice, I have gotten the dreaded question SO many times; SO, when will you have another one? Isn’t it time soon?
I have been asked this from people I know, and people I don’t know, from people in the US and from people in Scandinavia. The question has turned up at baby-showers, at the mall, in play-group (when Karolina used to attend those) and so on. I think I got asked that question several times a week when Karolina was between the ages of 2-5 years old. Now I don’t get asked anymore, I guess people now have given up on it OR they do realize; no, she will NOT have any more kids.
It is just so funny how people think they can ask this VERY PERSONAL question out of the blue. What triggers it? My age? The disturbing fact that I have only given birth once? That I am totally content to be the mother of one? That it is so OFF the regular beat not to have two kids? Karolina needs a sibling?
I don’t know. But, I tell you what, from the moment we had decided to have kids we were pretty much set on having only one. Yes, that is true! Only one. Both Peter and I were fine with that. Then I gave birth to our beautiful baby-girl and it sent us to seventh heaven. We could give her everything and anything. She is the joy of our lives, she is easy-going, generous, humoristic, has a great mind and imagination. We have tried to give her everything in our power, and I am not talking only materialism here, of course not, without spoiling her rotten, and I do think that we have succeeded at that. Well, that is easy for ME to say, I don’t know how other people look at her, and at us. But, I do hear what her teachers and instructors at her school have to say about her and that makes me proud and even more secure in my choice of just having one.
When will people start to understand that they cannot ask another person IF she will have kids, and WHEN she (or he, for that matter) will have kids. It is PERSONAL and none of other peoples business. What do we know about the person we have in front of us? Nothing. Maybe the person is trying hard to get pregnant, maybe she has a medical condition, and maybe this is something that makes her feel awful or, quite maybe, she doesn’t even want to have kids. The same thing goes for the couples with only one child …DO not ask when the sibling will arrive.
Have a good Tuesday each and everyone of you! In the metropolitan DC area the drought continues. It will be another day of 80 degrees (25 C) under clear skies...(tad bit fed up, with that too ;-))) )