There is one thing I can never get used to, and that is to be called Mrs. P. B.
Hello!!??? Am I not my own person??? Don’t I have my own first name? Yes, I thought so. THANK YOU!!!
I am not Mrs. Peter. B.
I am Annika B. If you want to put Mrs. in front of it it is optional. But. Mrs. Peter I am NOT!! Mrs. Annika B? Sure, go for it.
I used to say, to Peter, that “I will NOT open an envelope that is addressed to Mrs. Peter B, if the person cannot write Annika, well, then forget about it. I will not OPEN that envelope”.
Well, maybe that was a pretty infantile statement of me, but I still sort of feel that way.
When I look at wedding announcements in the paper I am always so surprised to see how they are written. Underneath the picture it ALWAYS says, for example: “Mr. and Mrs. Paul Smith”. Never Paul and Mary Smith. I don’t know, but I find it strange.
Another thing I have a hard time dealing with is when kids call me “Mrs. B”.
-All right, kiddo, it is perfectly FINE to call me Annika. You do not have to call me Mrs. B.
That pretty much always settles it, after that most kids call me by my first name.
When Peter, Karolina and I moved to this neighborhood in Reston we met the World’s BEST Neighbors, and the World’s Best Neighbors all have kids. The parents, our new neighbors, asked us right away if it was OK for their kids to call us by first name. Nice going!!! That totally set the tone for me! I really appreciated it! So now every kid in the neighborhood calls me Annika, and calls Peter by his first name as well. It is the same thing with Karolina and the other adult neighbors; first name basis.
The only time I can accept to be called Mrs. B is when I volunteer in the school. Since all the parents go by Mr. and Mrs. there. Then I’ll just have to accept it as well :-)
All right, so Sweden is an informal country. We even call our prime minister by his first name, and not a single person thinks it is weird.
The only family that is somewhat formal is the Royal Family, but there have been reporters that have been calling the Crown Princess just Victoria. Hey, I am all for that!!!
When I went to school back in Sweden we called ALL our teachers by first name, or we simply called them “Fröken” or “Magistern”. Fröken is the name for a female teacher, and Magistern is a male teacher.
And, needless to say I have always called all my friends parents by first name. Always!
When I came to the States I was a bit worried of the formality. I was nervous to slip, nervous to accidentally call someone by first name. I am not, anymore, since I don’t call anybody Mr. or Mrs.
Well, only the teachers then, yes I am formal when addressing them.
When I am at the doctor or dentist I always ask them to call me Annika, and nothing else. It works! And I am happy!
Hello!!??? Am I not my own person??? Don’t I have my own first name? Yes, I thought so. THANK YOU!!!
I am not Mrs. Peter. B.
I am Annika B. If you want to put Mrs. in front of it it is optional. But. Mrs. Peter I am NOT!! Mrs. Annika B? Sure, go for it.
I used to say, to Peter, that “I will NOT open an envelope that is addressed to Mrs. Peter B, if the person cannot write Annika, well, then forget about it. I will not OPEN that envelope”.
Well, maybe that was a pretty infantile statement of me, but I still sort of feel that way.
When I look at wedding announcements in the paper I am always so surprised to see how they are written. Underneath the picture it ALWAYS says, for example: “Mr. and Mrs. Paul Smith”. Never Paul and Mary Smith. I don’t know, but I find it strange.
Another thing I have a hard time dealing with is when kids call me “Mrs. B”.
-All right, kiddo, it is perfectly FINE to call me Annika. You do not have to call me Mrs. B.
That pretty much always settles it, after that most kids call me by my first name.
When Peter, Karolina and I moved to this neighborhood in Reston we met the World’s BEST Neighbors, and the World’s Best Neighbors all have kids. The parents, our new neighbors, asked us right away if it was OK for their kids to call us by first name. Nice going!!! That totally set the tone for me! I really appreciated it! So now every kid in the neighborhood calls me Annika, and calls Peter by his first name as well. It is the same thing with Karolina and the other adult neighbors; first name basis.
The only time I can accept to be called Mrs. B is when I volunteer in the school. Since all the parents go by Mr. and Mrs. there. Then I’ll just have to accept it as well :-)
All right, so Sweden is an informal country. We even call our prime minister by his first name, and not a single person thinks it is weird.
The only family that is somewhat formal is the Royal Family, but there have been reporters that have been calling the Crown Princess just Victoria. Hey, I am all for that!!!
When I went to school back in Sweden we called ALL our teachers by first name, or we simply called them “Fröken” or “Magistern”. Fröken is the name for a female teacher, and Magistern is a male teacher.
And, needless to say I have always called all my friends parents by first name. Always!
When I came to the States I was a bit worried of the formality. I was nervous to slip, nervous to accidentally call someone by first name. I am not, anymore, since I don’t call anybody Mr. or Mrs.
Well, only the teachers then, yes I am formal when addressing them.
When I am at the doctor or dentist I always ask them to call me Annika, and nothing else. It works! And I am happy!
Comments
At first I found these formalities a bit embarrassing, because that's not something I grew up with, but often now I just think it's a very easy way of never have to hesitate what to call people, especially if they are older and I don't know them very well.
I think, though, that Australia is far far less formal than the US, and most people call each other by first name. Funny you should mention the school and the dentist as it's only at school and going to the doctors or dentist where it's super formal. It's unusual for teachers to be called by first name, they are all Mr and Mrs so and so. In a way I can understand how this helps them when they have to act the authority and a way for the kids to know who's the boss.
I'm not for or against this system, I just accept that different cultures have different ways of approaching each other. Scandinavia must be one of the few places in the world where the Mr and Mrs is considered archaic.
I think too that Australia is a lot less formal than the US. I think it is more laid back there in general.
Sure, it is a cultural thing. And, yes, it has to be accepted to a certain point. As I said, for example in the school. It is a way to show that teachers are the authority, but I think you can be just as much an authority if you go by; say Mike or Michael. It is all in your attitude and the way you are teaching.
Oh, and I forgot to mention how one is called Ma'am all the time as well. Now, that is something that I am used to now, but it sure did BOTHER me in the beginning.
It's a formal country, and sometimes I just have to deal :-)
Jag och min man har till och med olika efternamn fast vi är gifta. Det tycker dom är skitkonstigt här.
Barnen i vårt område kallar oss helt enkelt för Miss Desiree och Mr Carl. Det tycker jag funkar bra.
Visst är det skönt med det informella i Sverige men jag måste säga att framför allt yngre personer har blivit mer formella under senare år. Jag har blivit tilltalad med "ni" flera gånger av personer som är yngre än mig. Känns otroligt gammalmodigt. Har också blivit kallad "tanten" när t ex en mamma talar med sitt barn. Jag är ingen tant!
Det känns som att bli tillbaksflyttad i tiden mellan varven och jag VET att det är värre här nere i södern, men det driver mig till vansinne att bo i detta U-land när det gäller jämställdhet. ARGHHHH.
For me it feels very backwards and I have a hard time dealing with it. It is only in situations when I am forced to that I go by Mrs. Otherwise, I am just Annika.
Desiree:
Ja, det är liksom så svårt att ta till sig. Och jag som har bott här länge har fortfarande inte vant mig.
Ibland är det bara att bita i det sura äpplet :-)
A-M:
Ja, visst är det svårt att vara ett "bihang". Inte kul alls.
Jag har egentligen dubbelnamn i efternamnet, men har mer och mer slopat min svenska efternamn. Blir för bökigt.
Ma'am tycker jag att jag blir kallad var och varannan dag. Suck.
Japp, det är att gå baklänges därhemma när man börjar "nia", inte trevligt ALLS. Och nej, jag vill absolut INTE bli kallad tant heller. Vilken mardröm!!
Ack JA!! Att bo i in the deep south has to be worse!! Jag tror dig!! Jag märker det på Peters släktingar också. Väldigt bakvänt, helt enkelt.
Och ja, nog kan det kännas som ett U-land när det komemr till jämställdhet, absolut!!
SweFlo:
Du kommer att märka att din dotter kommer att svälja det där helt naturligt! Barnen anpassar sig så lätt både till USA livets formalitet o Sveriges informalitet. Det har jag märkt hos min dotter.
Minns att jag tyckte det var konstigt när K började lekis och hon skulle kalla sin fröknar MISS eller MRS och sen förnamn. Skumt. Men som sagt, man vänjer sig vid det...
Du e rolig du!!! Dagens garv!! Förmodligen har du helt rätt :-)))
Jag har nog aldrig blivit kallad fru B ens en gång. Men enligt amerikansk sed, skulle jag också var Mrs P.B...
Fniss!!!
Ja, dom är nog fina runt DEN häcken, kan jag tro :-)))
Japp, you bet...Mrs P. B för dig också. Taget!!